Hontou no Kimochi
by HMiko
Summary: Chitose and Ichiro never expected their Erda to see anything unwholesome. Now that Chii's living with a certain warm-blooded 19 year old, she inadvertently and unwillingly learns sexual desire. Hideki wants more than anything to help her, but can't... yet
1. Chapter 1

"I'm home, Hideki," Chii called as she returned home from work. There was no answer. All she could hear were muffled noises coming from the television. "Hideki? Are you there? I'm home now."

She fully entered the room and saw him sitting in front of the TV, looking like he was enjoying himself. He didn't even take his eyes off of the screen to greet her, he was so engrossed. She walked behind him, totally unnoticed, to see what he was interested in so much. She finally tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hideki, what are those two women doing?"

"GAH! CHII! Don't scare me like that!!" Hideki yelled as he violently reached for the remote to turn off the TV.

"Chii called for Hideki when Chii came home, and Hideki didn't answer."

"Ah… is that so…"

"Yes. What were they doing?" She asked naively.

"Nothing you need to worry about! They were just kissing," he fumbled.

"Kissing? Like when you love someone?" Chii knelt beside him, her eyes fixated on his.

"Um… sure," he stuttered. He had no time to go into the fact that those girls were probably just doing that to entertain viewers like him.

She leaned over and quickly kissed him on the lips.

Instantly his mind was taken off of what he had been watching. "Chii…" He saw her watch him sweetly as he blushed. She curiously ran her hands through his hair, and he held her.

"Hideki… this feels nice. Does Hideki think so?"

He gave her a bittersweet smile. "Yes, it does." He sighed and stroked the hair that flowed down her back.

--

That night, Hideki fixed himself a midnight snack of natto. Hideki had sort of gotten over the shock of his first kiss, and Chii seemed to be asleep. The case to the DVD Mr. Ohmura had lent him still laid open, and he was reminded of what he was in the middle of watching before. Quietly, he tiptoed over and put the video back on with the volume quite low, sitting close so that he could still hear every sound.

It was typical no-plot nonsense, but it still had all the visuals he was looking for. This time, one of the girls was with a man, and doing a lot more than kissing. He sat engrossed once again for quite some time. Apparently, however, the volume was still not low enough, because Chii woke up.

All without him noticing, she sat up next to him. She was about to say something to ask what they were doing this time, but decided it was best not to interrupt, because he looked very happy. So she sat and watched with him, wondering what was going on. The yellow highlights that moved across her eyes whenever she was learning something appeared. "They sure do look happy," she thought. But their reactions were different than normal happiness, she noticed. She glanced over at Hideki and noticed that his hand was idly resting between his legs, occasionally mimicking what the girl on TV was doing for the man on TV. She didn't get it at all, but somehow it interested her. The video ended.

"Not too bad, I must say," Hideki mumbled to himself. "The manager has pretty good taste."

"Hideki's manager gave this to Hideki?" Chii asked.

"Yeah, he did; gosh, it was such a task trying to hide the whole thing from Yumi…" He stopped short and turned his head to where the voice was coming from, and noticed that Chii was fully awake. "CHII? WHAT THE HELL!"

"Chii likes to watch movies with Hideki."

Hideki shook his head vigorously. "NO. Chii. Don't." He thought for a second. "Oh my God, Chii, how long were you awake?"

"Chii woke up when the girl started screaming; Chii thought something was wrong. Apparently there was nothing wrong."

Hideki tried to calculate how far back it was that she may have heard that, and realized it wasn't too long after he had started to watch it again. She saw everything, including all the things that led up to it. His face turned white. "Chii, you should never have seen that… oh my God, I'm a horrible pervert, I've corrupted you, I should have realized you were awake…"

"Corrupt Chii? Why? It was interesting."

"Interesting!? …What do you mean interesting?" he asked carefully.

"Chii didn't understand why they were doing that, but it seemed interesting. Chii doesn't know why it is interesting. It just was. And they were very happy, weren't they?"

Hideki noticed he had a slight tic. "Chii… well, I suppose it can't corrupt you, can it?"

"Chii doesn't understand."

Hideki gave up and sighed. "Never mind, Chii. Just pretend you never saw that, okay? Don't think any less of me?"

"Of course not. I love Hideki." She hugged him and they fell quietly back onto the futon.

"I love you too, Chii. Good night."


	2. Chapter 2

Chii awaited Hideki's return home from the university. It was late November; the building's heater was scheduled to be fixed the next day, but for now, it was still busted. She was preparing a nice cold-weather dinner – she'd connected online and found a recipe for oden that seemed easy enough. But as she sliced through the radishes and potatoes, she felt her mood decline, and she couldn't figure out why. She wasn't sad, but rather… cranky. Were persocoms prone to moods without any sort of trigger? She put it in the back of her mind for the time being, and went to knock on Hibiya-san's door for missing ingredients.

"Mama?" She called quietly from behind the door.

Hibiya-san was sitting on her couch reading an electronics magazine. "Hi, hon, I'll be right there." She wondered what Chii's apathetic tone was all about, and opened the door. "Hi, Chii. Is anything wrong?"

"No. Does Mama have sake? Chii is making oden and forgot to buy it."

"Oh, of course. Come on in, I'll get it for you," Hibiya answered. She reached into a cabinet and found an unopened bottle for her. "You sound sad, you're sure nothing's wrong?"

Chii frowned. "Chii's not sad. But Chii doesn't feel happy, either. Chii doesn't know what's wrong."

Hibiya-san put her hand on Chii's shoulder. "That will happen sometimes. Nothing to worry about, it will pass." She paused. "Chii, you should start to say 'I' and 'you' instead of actual names. Some people might see that as childish, and you really are beginning to experience complex feelings. How do I put this… Well, you and Hideki are in love, right?"

"Yes."

"I know how much he loves you. But I think sometimes he thinks of you as a child because you're so pure, and it may be affecting him in such a way that he is still distancing himself."

"Oh… why does saying 'I' matter?"

"Let's see… I think it puts you on the same level with him. Saying 'Chii is this, Chii is that' somehow makes you sound like an object. You're not human, but you're much more than a simple object. You experience things that are so close to human emotions, and that is why Hideki and you are able to be together. People usually say 'I,' so if you do too, Hideki might connect with you better."

Chii smiled weakly. "Okay. I understand now, I think. I will try. Thank you for the sake," she said with some effort.

Hibiya-san's eyes twinkled as Chii walked away. "She sounds so grown up…"

--

"Hideki! Okaeri!" Chii welcomed Hideki home from school. "I started fixing you oden because it's cold out. You're home, so now I'll go boil it."

Hideki's mouth watered. "Oh wow, Chii, that sounds great! I haven't had oden since I moved here."

Chii smiled, a little less weakly that before. At least Hideki was there. He was a comfort. She was happier, but her irritating feeling of boredom had turned itself into a feeling of slight restlessness the instant Hideki walked into the room. Instead of jumping on him to give him a hug like she usually did, she walked up to him and took him in her arms sincerely.

Hideki sensed her unrest and put his hand on her head. "Chii. You seem sad."

"Restless," Chii sighed. "I can't figure out what's wrong. I stopped by Mama's apartment to get sake for the oden and she noticed it too. She said it would pass."

Hideki noticed that her words sounded much more mature. "I guess you haven't had this kind of mood before. Hibiya-san is right, it will pass." He tipped up her chin with his index finger, and gave her a soft, quick kiss. Somehow it aggravated what she was feeling a bit.

Chii nodded, trying to hide the fact that the kiss probably wasn't the right thing to do at that moment. "I'm going to cook the oden."

--

"Chii, this is great!" Hideki gushed. "It's different than my mom makes it back home, but it's so good!"

Chii frowned. "Is your mom's better? How does your mom make it?"

Hideki chuckled. "Chii, there's no way to compare. It's just different. Everyone's oden is different. You're not my mom, you're Chii. I like Chii's oden a lot." He slurped away, and Chii was convinced.

"What does it taste like?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I can't really describe it if you haven't had food before. Do you even have taste buds?"

"I'm not sure. I can smell it, though. I think I will try some broth." Without giving Hideki a chance to warn her that liquids may hurt her system, she took a spoon from the drawer and tried it. Bright lines ran across her eyes as she processed all the molecular information in the food, analyzing the balances of flavors. "Oden… it's very good! I'm proud."

Hideki smiled, surprised she was able to taste it. "As you should be."

After they finished eating, Hideki sat down and watched some TV. Chii sat next to him, leaning on his shoulder, making him blush. He looked down at her, and she still seemed despondent. "Your mood still hasn't passed?" She shook her head. "How exactly do you feel?"

Chii thought for a moment about how to describe it. "I don't know… I feel restless, like I want to do something. But I don't want to do anything. Little things are annoying me. Warm and cold. And cranky."

Hideki pondered. "Warm and cold…" He froze, then shook his head. "…Nah."

"Do you feel like that sometimes too?"

He paused, trying to think of all this scientifically. "Um, do you feel it in any specific place? Is it mind clutter?"

She frowned again, trying to locate the source of her distress. "No. It's here. And here." Chii pointed to her chest and lower abdomen. "I'd feel mind clutter here." She pointed to her forehead. "If my CPU was working too hard. That is where it is. But there is nothing anywhere else that would do that. I don't know."

Hideki was speechless. He couldn't even move, because he knew exactly what was wrong. He couldn't figure out how it was happening to her, and he obviously couldn't do anything about it. But he still wanted to help her. "Um… I feel like that sometimes too. Exactly like that."

"What do you do?"

His face twitched. How was he supposed to answer that? "I… um…"

Chii tried to remember him being cranky. She remembered a time he was moping without reason, and she remembered leaving the apartment and coming back soon after at a rather inopportune moment, not to mention what she saw him doing the night before when he was watching that video…

"I think I'll go in the other room…" Chii remembered how he reacted and deduced that it was something that was supposed to be a secret. "…I think I need some quiet, and you can still watch TV. I just need to lie down and rest by myself."

"Okay," he sighed, assuming she hadn't figured it out yet. "I hope you feel better."

"Thank you, Hideki." She trotted into the bathroom.

--

"Konban wa, Hideki!" Chii finally emerged a couple of hours later, stretching her arms.

"Hello, Chii, long time no see. Are you feeling better?" Hideki asked.

"Yes. I figured it out."

"What is it?"

"Hook me up to the TV," Chii requested happily.

Hideki raised an eyebrow. "Okay."

Chii giggled, a sound completely new to Hideki's ears. "I finally understand it, Hideki. I knew it made you happy, but not why. I know now," she said as a progress bar indicated that she was loading something onto the TV screen.

"Understand what?"

At the instant Chii opened her mouth to answer, a rather suggestive picture of a half-naked Hideki appeared on the screen, causing him to make an odd, loud noise of shock and jump back a few feet. Chii smiled in amusement. "Okazu. Chii's okazu."

Hideki seemed to be propelled onto his back from the violent nosebleed that resulted from her answer. "Ch… CHII!? You…!?" He couldn't articulate what he was visualizing at that moment. "And… who the hell doctored that picture??"

"It's not doctored. I created it. It's an image file captured straight from Chii's mind."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mind was buzzing all over the place. The fact that she imagined that picture into existence, the fact that she was discovering new physical emotions, the fact that she was in that room for two hours… He had not gotten back up yet and his eyes had not yet come back into focus. He sported a very stupid, vague grin, as if his IQ had just dropped fifty points. "Chii… that… you… haaaaaaa?" The sound that came out of his mouth wasn't even intelligible; it was a laugh, sigh, and a high moan all combined into one sound. He stopped for a moment and thought. "Chii, how did you even… without shutting your system down…?"

"Not inside, silly, just outside and around. I had wondered that myself at first, so I downloaded a diagram, if you're wondering how that works…"

"NO."

He lay down in shock, still trying to process all of this confusion. Chii looked down at him and grinned. "Hideki. You're full of energy. I know why now."

Hideki's face turned beet red and he bolted upright and turned around, covering himself. "Chii! That's embarrassing!"

"Why? Mama said everyone feels like this sometimes. Hideki is my okazu, and Hideki's okazu is…"

Hideki turned to face her again. "CHII! Please stop talking about that. People keep that to themselves."

Chii again recalled the time she walked in on him. "Oh, I remember, you were mad when I saw you with your okazu. But I'm glad I saw, because then I was able to figure out how to be happy again! You made me happy, Hideki!" She jumped on him and gave him a hug. She was definitely back to normal.

Hideki fell onto his back underneath her, dizzy from the images flying in and out of his head, and from the amount of blood that he lost from his nose. Chii, on the other hand, discovered another new feeling. It was like the bad mood before, except for the fact that it wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was nice. Really nice. She was incredibly aware of his body against her, and she opened her eyes and blushed. It started to really sink in. She wanted to make love to him, but she couldn't. Paralyzed, she felt his heart race and his breathing quicken, both fascinated and excited by his human reactions. She looked up at him and blinked, her mouth small and half-open. It took a while for him to come out of the wince that indicated his diligent effort to control himself. But eventually he looked back up at her with the same confused, look – blank, but still pregnant with every emotion.

"Chii…" Hideki sighed, troubled, but his expression didn't waver. Neither did Chii's.

"Chii…?" She replied. She appeared a little frightened. "Chii… needs sleep."

Hideki snorted and his mouth twitched into a smirk. She said that last time, and she sure didn't rest. But Chii headed towards the futon that they had previously so innocently shared, wide-eyed and confused. "Oyasumi, Hideki." She got under the covers, distraught again and facing away from him.

Hideki sat up and looked over at the lump under the covers that was Chii. He had never been so overwhelmed or confused, even when he almost lost her forever. She was discovering sexuality, and that her love was more than just admiration, but still she couldn't do anything about it, lest she die. Without words, they agreed that they shouldn't sleep in the same futon that night, and Hideki slept leaning against the wall. But neither of them was able to sleep much after that, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mama?"

Hibiya-san and Chii had sat down to a cup of tea, and Chii was able to have a small amount. No one had completely figured this out yet.

"What is it, Chii-chan?"

"Mama… I just wanted to ask… well, this tea is very good."

"Thank you, Chii," answered Hibiya, knowing that this was clearly not what she intended to talk about. "Really, honey, what's wrong?"

"Well, it does in a way have to do with the tea… the fact that I like the taste. I like the feeling it gives my tongue."

"Yes? That is what taste is."

"I understand, but…" Chii frowned awkwardly. "The way I like the feeling on my tongue. I want to taste it again." She took a slow sip from her cup. "Mama, I don't know how to put this."

"I wish I could help, but I don't know what you're getting at, and I don't want to assume anything. You're going to have to tell me, Chii." She was even more puzzled that Chii felt so awkward talking to her. Weren't persocoms just supposed to be straightforward and honest? Even Chii never had much trouble expressing herself, with the exception of having trouble with vocabulary or the logic presented to her. But never with presenting her own thoughts. There was something she was feeling, not thinking about, that made it hard for her to express herself.

Chii finally spoke up. "Sometimes I feel like that in other places."

Hibiya looked confused. "You want tea in other places? That's normal, Chii, that's why you can get tea at a restaurant."

Chii smiled and shook her head. "No, that's not it. It's… it's the feeling of wanting sensations again. I like tea on my tongue, and I want to feel it again. But there are other things I want to feel. Not on my tongue."

The cup in Chitose's hand didn't make it to her mouth. She looked at her. "Where, Chii?"

Chii turned away, afraid to look her mother in the eye. "Places that… I was told were for my one and only person."

Hibiya put the teacup down on the table. "Honey… is this what was bothering you the other day?"

Chii nodded. "Yes. But I didn't know it then." There was a long silence as Hibiya tried to figure all of this out. "I've been having dreams, too, Mama. And sometimes, they make those feelings worse."

"Dreams?" She was shocked. "But how?"

"I don't know either, Mama. Maybe these feelings are taking up my memory and preventing me from completely entering sleep mode… but I'm asking you what to do about them, not why they are happening."

Chitose's eyes softened, reaching out to care for her daughter. "It's so strange. You're not supposed to experience anything like this."

"Not supposed to? Is it bad?"

"No, Chii, it's not bad, it's just unexpected. But… I am glad you told me." This time Chitose looked away. "Hideki didn't install anything on you that would cause this, did he?"

"Of course not; he wouldn't try to change me like that."

She sighed in relief. "I'm glad… Chii, this thing you're feeling is very human. I have no idea what's causing it. But the essential reason humans feel that is because of an instinct to 

procreate. But it's a blessing, Chii. Those feelings are not empty. They're special. And they don't exist just for that instinct; they exist for many humans as the ultimate expression of true love."

"Not just pleasure?"

Chitose smiled. "Well, sometimes, yes, people think about it that way, to fulfill that instinct. And some people act on it as well, also to fulfill that instinct. Sometimes it is empty."

Chii's face grew worried. "Empty? No love?" She put her hands to her face, thinking of how Hideki was feeling the same things she was. "Hideki…"

"It's okay, Chii. Hideki was not lying when he said he loved you. I can tell he loves you very deeply, and is not just pretending to do so. He even gave up acting on this instinct out of love for you, and that is certainly proof enough. His feelings are real, just like yours. I'm just not sure why you're having them, too."

Chii smiled, thinking of the new, so very brief experience she'd shared with him before. Just knowing that she was loved, and that he needed her, was an incredible feeling. "I'm so glad…"

"Chii-chan…" Hibiya asked. "Has Hideki tried to do anything to you? I know he didn't install anything, and he clearly has not tried 'everything,' but has he touched you in certain places? I'm only trying to figure out what may have set this program off in you."

Chii blushed and looked away. "No, he hasn't. He spends so much energy trying not to, and I feel bad for him. At first, I felt bad, and wished I were able to please him, but my reason was just to please him. Now, I am starting to wish I can please him, yet also to please myself, as well. I feel this way when he holds me, and I wish my switch were not where it is. When he holds me very close, sometimes his leg rests between my legs, and I like the way it feels. Or when I lay on top of him…" She thought of his arousal the night before and trailed off, realizing she was probably sharing too much.

"Honey…" Chitose was absolutely stunned. She couldn't figure out at all how this was happening. "I really don't know what to say. You know enough not to give in to this desire though, because it will kill you…"

"Yes. But it causes me pain."

Chitose put her hand on Chii's shoulder, trying to think of how to comfort her. She took it away. "I… have no idea how to help you, Chii. I'm so sorry."

Chii's head lowered. "I understand," she said flatly, and she stood up and left. As she closed the door behind her, Chitose began to cry.

--

"Chi-chan."

Hibiya-san knew that voice, the voice that echoed through her state of slumber. She opened her eyes and entered her dream, and saw her husband before her. He smiled warmly, and a misty aura surrounded him.

"Ichiro!"

"My Chitose… I need to tell you."

"What is it? Is it about Chii?"

He nodded. "I had not foreseen this. Well, first of all, the reason she is able to taste food is that her tongue has molecule receptors… I don't think I ever told you. She can't have solid foods, only small amounts of broths and drinks, as you have seen, and it gets absorbed into her mouth, where it is burned off and doesn't hurt her system. All of that aside… the reason she is feeling desire this way is simply from observation. The same way she's seen other couples 

holding hands, hugging each other, and wanted it for herself to make her happy, the same thing is happening with the deeper physical expressions of affection."

"I don't understand, how could she know…?" Chitose stopped, realizing at once what her husband was about to explain. "Oh…" She chuckled softly.

"Hideki is human, of course… a healthy, nineteen-year-old human male… she's even bought the stuff for him before. It was one of the first things she saw after he first restarted her. Of course, I had never intended for our Erda to see such things, so I never programmed anything in her to think negatively about it. And she's seen Hideki dream, so when she sleeps, it's just an automatic reaction to recreate images she's seen before, or even imagined. It's her system's way of having idle activity if she cannot enter sleep mode due to insufficient memory. So in her own way, she does dream. She learns nearly everything, including her physical feelings, by observing, and she has seen a lot more things than I had ever expected she would. I did not mean to subject her to such pain."

"Honey…"

"But I have a solution."

Chitose's eyes lit up. "Oh, do you? I'm so glad…"

"It can be done without disturbing who Chii is."

"What is it?"

"Remove her switch. I trust there won't be any reason for it anymore."

Chitose stopped short. "I had thought of that, but I didn't want to risk going against your wishes any more than I have already risked… but how, without turning her off?"

"Very carefully, if you simply remove the button. If positioned correctly, the button sort of emerges, and you can remove it with pliers. And it won't cause her physical pain. Thankfully, she hasn't picked that sensation up, because it is not something she has observed and wanted. The only pain she can experience is emotional… which is becoming very apparent now. Her physical emotions, as I said, are learned from observation, and she developed sexual desire because she had seen images of people enjoying such things. She wouldn't pick up an unpleasant physical sensation. So, this 'surgery,' if you want to call it that, won't hurt her at all. All you need to do is solder over the internal switch – not the button, since you will have removed it already – and fill the area to about two centimeters with the substance we used for her skin. You remember the formula?"

Her eyes welled up with tears of relief. "Yes, I remember." She looked up at him. "Are you content with the way things turned out, Ichiro?"

"Very much so, Chitose."

"And you are sure this procedure won't ruin your original plan?"

He grinned. "If you had asked me that before this new development, I would have said it would. But my wish already came true, and still our Erda is unhappy. I want Erda to be happy more than I ever wanted a pure relationship between humans and persocoms. She is our daughter, Chitose, and my love for her as a father comes before my love for science. Erda – Chii – she needs to be happy. And just as she learned desire, she can learn satisfaction. Differently, though – the same way her love is different. She can be satisfied because she now knows that physical love results in pleasure, and she doesn't need to be rewired or reprogrammed to have 'nerve endings' or anything like that; she will develop the sensation essentially from the power of suggestion. But it will be real; there is no doubt in my mind about that. And Hideki can be satisfied as well, without feeling sinful. He knows that Chii is a program, but soon he will realize that essentially, so are humans. What is DNA but a genetic program, just like we created for our 

persocoms? What is human emotion but a series of chemical reactions, just like the series of electrical signals and binary that we also created for our persocoms? Man was created by God, and persocoms by Man. The end result of all of it is universal, and it doesn't matter what all creations – and their emotions – are borne of. I know this. Trust in me, Chitose."

She began to cry at last. "I do, Ichiro. Oh, I've missed you so much…" She reached up to embrace him, but he held up his hand to stop her, and only gave her a soft kiss, vanishing as he whispered, "I love you always, Chitose…"

"Ichiro!" She gasped. Just as he had vanished, she awoke from her dream. "Ichiro… I love you too—"

She burst into tears.

--

"Hideki, I have mail."

Hideki woke up, yawning groggily. "From who?"

Chii frowned, confused. "It's from Mama. She wants me to come over."

"Sure, Chii, I'll walk you over there."

"No," she shook her head. "She said for me to come alone, and expect to be there for about two hours."

Hideki fully woke up, and twisted his face. "That's odd… well, mother knows best, I suppose. I… guess I'll see you later, then?"

"Mm," she nodded. "I'll be back."

"Take care," he smiled. She turned and walked out the door, still wearing Hideki's white buttoned shirt he'd given her to sleep in. After she had left, he turned to the wall, hitting it with his fist. These were the first few moments he had to himself after knowing just how close to human she was becoming, and the pain of not being able to complete the love between them finally hit. And it hit hard. All he wanted was for both of them to be happy, and with Chii's discovery of the vast yet unreachable world that lay beyond simple platonic love, the prospects for that happiness worsened. He slid down the wall to his knees and sobbed.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hideki! I'm home!"

"Welcome home, Chii," Hideki smiled weakly. He was still quite depressed.

"Hideki, are you sad?" She walked up to him and put her hands to his face. "Are you not well?"

Hideki smiled painfully down at her. He ran his hand along her cheek, and through the long lock of hair in front of her left ear. "Only because I love you so much. It's nothing you did, it's just inevitable."

Chii smiled knowingly. "Is it?" She stepped away from him and began to quite deliberately unbutton the sleeping shirt he'd given her so long ago.

Hideki's eyes widened indignantly. "Chii, what the hell are you doing to me!? You know full well how much I want what I can't have!"

She smiled more strongly, and calmly put her finger over his mouth. "Trust me."

She stepped away again and stood before him, the shirt completely unbuttoned, leaving her front enticingly bare. His face was red with anger and with admiration of her beauty. His resentful eyes scanned the body that tortured him so, longing to stroke its smooth curves, to place his hands on her tiny waist and pull her against him, to feel her breasts pressed firmly into his abdomen and to clutch the subtle curves of her rear, and hear her squeal with delight as he further pleased her. He snapped out of his fantasy. "Chii, I don't believe you," he mumbled bitterly.

She sat on the table and spread her legs, savoring his attention. He began to grow livid, even hurt, that she would torment him like this. He failed at his attempt to avert his eyes. But he finally noticed what she may have been getting at.

"Chii… where… is this what you…?"

"No more switch, Hideki."

His mouth dropped open. "H—how? I… what happened to it?"

"I told Mama that I had been feeling new things. She didn't know how to help, but then Papa came to her in a dream and told her it was okay to remove it. You see, they knew that if I now know desire, I would be sad if I never fulfilled it. They always wanted me to be happy more than anything else. Papa also said that you should know that my programs are really no different than your DNA, and so my heart is no different than yours." She grinned at him coyly. "My desire is no different than yours now, either."

It was difficult for him to take all of this in so quickly. He had already fully accepted the idea that he would never make love to her. Going back to what he had previously thought took a lot of effort. But it certainly wasn't out of reach. "Chii… there is absolutely no way for you to be turned off?"

"Absolutely none. No more than you can be."

Hideki's eyes glistened, all anger gone, but that energy had to go somewhere.

"Oh, Chii…"

He dashed to fetch her off the table, took her in his arms and pulled her against him, reminding her of the ephemeral sensation they had both felt a few nights before. This time, it was thoroughly intentional. He kissed her passionately – inexperienced, but ardent. And even after Chii's sly teasing, he knew he could never ruin it all by fully relieving his desire so early on. All he cared about was that he no longer had to hold anything back from the fear of losing control and doing something he'd regret. He could finally freely express his affections towards her, and this is exactly what he did as he 

kissed her. He felt a surge of emotion – as if he were about to bawl, scream, and shout in jubilation, but his senses would not let him. All he could do was hold her more tightly.

"Hideki…!" She gasped. She moved her hand to the middle of his back and grasped his shirt as she let a leg slowly creep around his. She felt pressure building up all over her, giving her a sensory overload that completely overtook her. She'd never been held so intimately, kissed so fervently, nor stroked so deliciously. And no one had ever taught her restraint, either. She noticed a prominence in his body against her own abdomen, and she instinctively grabbed him, each finger examining and caressing anything she could make out through the fabric of his pants. He let out moan that did nothing but egg her on. Her knees grew weak and her body slid down his. She fell to a kneeling position and undid his belt. Hideki's eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly as he realized what she was about to do. She carefully unzipped his fly, struggling a bit with the sharp angle she had to maneuver the zipper over. She'd had enough of being careful after that, and tore both his khakis and boxers down to the floor. He was exposed, and she was entranced. She put her cheek against it.

"Hideki?" She said after she'd taken her eyes off of his member and looked up at him hungrily. "Have you dreamed of this?" She felt him twitch.

He looked down at her, still in shock but trying to hold back until the time when it would matter most. "Truthfully?" He now spoke in a low, resonant voice that overflowed with arousal. "Yes."

Chii's eyes returned to what she faced before her. "Me too." She kissed him softly. And again. She repeated this several times, and without warning, took all of his length into her mouth. His entire body tensed and he inhaled sharply. Her mouth full, she sighed and ran her tongue around it. She gently cupped him underneath with her other hand, and he began to move his hips back and forth into her. She moved her head in a similar motion, catching on to the rhythm he had set. She did not need to stop to breathe, but her small jaw was never made for such activity. She took her mouth off of him.

Hideki's eyes shot open in panicked anticipation. "Oh, Chii, please don't stop!" he shouted, begging.

"My mouth is not big en—" Chii was interrupted by his hand shoving her head back to where it was. "Mm…" She was becoming increasingly aroused by seeing this side of Hideki. Her mouth could get used to it.

After he'd had his share of being pleased thus, Hideki pulled himself out of her mouth and picked her up so she was hanging by her arms off of his neck and facing him directly. He kissed and licked her neck obsessively, his tongue making her hot and the trailing saliva sending erotic chills down her spine. He threw her shirt aside violently, nearly twisting her arm in the process. He began sucking on her left breast, and she cried out.

"Oh, Hideki! I've needed this so much…" she moaned rather loudly. Each of his long, wiry hands took up a good portion of her small back, and he dug them into her in heated passion. His tongue circled and flicked at her nipple several times over. She wrapped her legs around him, actually soaking his shirt. No, it was not wrong for him to be experiencing this with her. She was completely cognizant of what all of this meant, and the words she spoke as she quoted her father echoed throughout his mind. _"Programs are no different than DNA… my heart is no different than yours… my desire is no different than yours."_ It was all so clearly true now as she followed each cadence of 

fervor they shared. He moved a hand to the breast his mouth did not occupy and kneaded it. Chii moaned even more loudly, and she began tugging at the buttons of his polo shirt, managing to unbutton one, but rip the others.

Hideki paused. He'd almost forgotten it was still on. He carried her over to the once-innocent futon, and he laid her down a little less gently than he could have, had he been in a more controlled state of mind. She looked up at him and panted deeply in an effort to cool herself off. She watched him look down at her as he quickly did away with his shirt.

Chii's countenance melted into bliss. "Hideki is so beautiful like this, so wonderful," she sighed.

Hideki donned a devious expression as he looked down at his naked lover. He had fantasized about all of this countless times: how he could please her, how she would react, never expecting her to be able to reciprocate his desires in reality. From somewhere deep within him emerged the lover he had dreamt of being. He had no idea what he was doing or where it was coming from, but somehow he had acquired a lusty charm about him. Still quite nervous, he lowered himself over her. "And do you know what Chii is?"

"Chii…?"

He smiled softly at this nostalgic sound – this was the first sound he ever heard from her, and hearing her voice repeat it once more soothed him and calmed his nerves. "Chii is beautiful and wonderful like this, too." He ran his hands through her hair, and whispered into her white and pink ear, fully embracing who she was. "Chii is sexy, and she is mine."

The corners of Chii's lips curled like his, and he saw on her face the look of a demon contemplating its next meal. Now she had acquired the same allure that Hideki had taken on moments earlier. Bright lines ran across her eyes once again as she processed all that was occurring, and she felt herself becoming a hungry seductress, an object of sheer desire. She raised her body, forcing them both to sit facing each other. She ran a dainty fingernail down his back, still gazing at him intently, making him shiver in excitement. He never knew she had this kind of drive in her, and it was turning him on even more. Arching her back, she pressed her visibly stimulated breasts against him, and Hideki being who he was, this put him back over the edge. He pulled her head to his and kissed her hard, not worrying about keeping the kiss contained or tidy. Chii's eyes softened as she felt his tongue exploring her mouth, his arms pressing her further against his body, his hand squeezing and groping her rear, admiring its soft roundness and fulfilling at last the bitter fantasy he'd had earlier. She had been straddling his thighs, and when he brought her closer, his member slid and poked at the warmth between her legs. She whimpered in pleasure. He pushed her back down onto the futon, her corn-silk hair surrounding her head like rays, the newness of the air between them flowing across her erect nipples. He kissed down her front and came to the spot that had soaked the sheets. He ran his tongue around her slit, only brushing inside every so often to tease. He grazed his tongue so lightly against the small nub of skin that only recently had become a target for pleasure.

"Hideki!" She arched her back from the paralyzing pulse that went through her spine. "Please. I want you inside of me."

"There is absolutely NO way that it could hurt you?"

"No, trust me, it's fine, just please…"

Hideki wasn't sure what he was waiting for. Seeing Chii turned on like this was heaven to him, but it was time. He hovered over her, creating shadows that highlighted the glistening sweat on both of their bodies. His hair hung down around his head, and a droplet of sweat ran down from it and down his temple. She pressed her index finger against his head to wipe it away, and licked it off her fingertip. His eyes turned to fire, and he entered her.

Her eyes rolled back into her head and she produced a guttural noise. Hideki's hands clenched the sheets tightly and he began to slide in and out of her. Her legs enveloped his waist for a better angle and pulled him further inside. He gritted his teeth as he picked up speed. After all of those preludes, this wasn't going to take long at all, but it seemed to last forever.

"It's so hard," she whispered.

"Oh, god, Chii…!" His eyes narrowed and he clenched his teeth.

Chii scratched her nails down his back and he grunted. He bucked his hips more quickly still, and she felt a dull, slightly painful but delightful sensation deep within her that grew more intense and made her toes curl. After only a few more delicious seconds, she dug her fingers into the skin of his shoulders, shrieking in ecstasy. At that sound, Hideki growled from deep in his chest, incoherently screamed her name, and let out a high sigh that could have been mistaken for a sob, had one not known the circumstances. He collapsed on top of her, both of them gasping for breath. After a few seconds, he rolled onto his back.

Chii's eyes fell closed and she smiled, reveling in afterglow. Hideki's eyes, however, remained wide open, taking everything in, full of disbelief. "Chii… we just made love," he breathed, as if it weren't obvious enough.

"Mm," she nodded happily as she wrapped her arms around his chest in adoring approval. She took one hand and pulled at the blanket of the futon, letting it fall lazily over them, somehow creating an even greater closeness. Hideki looked down at her and blushed at the sight of his lover. She was so beautiful, clinging to him, so pure. The paradox of her purity and what had just occurred deepened his love for her even more. He pulled her closer to him, enveloping her in a grateful, obsessive embrace as if to never let her escape from it.

"Chii. I never thought this could happen. Ever. Ever since your sister told me it was impossible."

"I know. I never thought it would be on my mind." She paused. "You've lived with this desire all of your life, haven't you?"

"Well, ever since I was physically capable of it, yes," Hideki answered.

"How did you hold it back?"

He chortled. "Lots and lots of work. But it's something people learn to do."

"Hideki…" She examined his eyes. "You wanted this all along. But you gave it up for me."

"Yes."

Chii finally understood first hand what an incredible sacrifice he had initially made to be with her. Tears came to her eyes. "I'm so happy… are you happy, Hideki?"

"Of course, Chii." A lump formed in his throat, and he placed her head against his chest so as to keep her from seeing his eyes shine so slightly with blissful tears._ "Chii-chan… Aishiteru."_

"_Atashi mo. Hideki aishiteru."_

In all this sweet contemplation, Hideki was hit with a sudden wave of fatigue, and dozed off to the sight of her snuggling him.

Chii looked up a bit later and noticed that he was asleep. She thought about how he couldn't sleep a few days ago. "Hideki is catching up on lost sleep," she thought.

But she still had a lot to learn.


End file.
